For years I’ve lived a double life.
In the day I do my job,
I ride the trains,
I mount the stairs with The Wise and The Foolish alike.
But at night I live a life of anonymity,
Of hidden caches and encrypted files,
And, if the truth be known,
A life drenched in celibacy.
I won’t deny it, I’ve been engaged in self-destruction,
I’ve wasted my future and the idea of a family.
I have insulted psychopaths, slain imaginary gods,
and not purely because I had no other choice.
I’ve demonstrated gross contempt toward the gullible,
and the holy-scriptures,
and I have done so, ruthlessly and smiling.
You may not think it to look at me,
but I have seen the destruction of Empires.
I’ve witnessed the birth, rise and the demise of Gods,
and I’ve heard the tales men tell in fear.
If lifetimes can be lived in mere days,
I have lived a thousand years.
Though you may come to pity me,
to think my heathen life was led wrong and wasted,
I know that my mine has been a worthy and noble cause,
grounded in consistency and honour.
I do not desire a ‘Life-By-Numbers’,
especially not if those numbers are divine.
For I have known the pleasures of discovery,
in arts, physics, maths, history and philosophy.
I’ve many times self-corrected for biases and privilege,
and I’ve put my ideas at the mercy of the world.
And though in achieving these things
I have often set humility aside,
I have no regrets.
For though I won’t be having an eternal life
At least I can say,
‘I have lived!’