Perhaps the franchise of “Move like Michael Jackson” wasn’t as globalised as “Big Brother”, still I think few of you will have been completely unaware of its existence. What drove people to a contest where they would impersonate a deceased, had-been entertainer with this aspect that, at best, can be described as of marginal importance, may remain a mystery. Honestly though Michael did use more than half of his talent in ‘moving’ so perhaps this wasn’t so strange after all.
Today we are going to play another contest all together and it will prove a challenge to the most talented amongst you. I especially like how the game can be played by both theists and atheists, by creationists and the more scientifically minded as one happy family. I got the idea for the contest from watching a youtubed exposé by Kent Hovind. For those you that are not from the United States or new to the Evolution vs ‘Creation Science’ debate Kent is one of the more prolific players, for the other team. When a video claims it has 100 reasons to rebut Evolution, I’m at least a bit curious. However, having gotten only to 7 minutes in I honestly don’t know if I will ever make it to the end.
Here are those 7 minutes: Kent introduces himself. As a sort of disclaimer he says he believes the Bible is the inerrant word of The Lord and that he believes it cover to cover. He even believes the cover; he jokes, and shows how on the back his name is printed. It’s unclear if he is the publishing editor or why his name is there. I won’t suppose him claiming to have written the thing. Kent states he loves Science as well, how he used to be a Science-teacher for several years. He talks about wanting to activate the Christians in the audience to do more. When he starts his argument with Evolution this image quickly appears:
Basically it says we were all wrong about the meaning of the term “Evolution” and it claims there is a whole classification of it. The funny thing is, the evolution you and I thought was the only evolution isn’t even contested, … but then again it is. Evolution understood as the gradual adaptation of living entities through imperfect reproduction on the gene-level, sustained or discarded by a process of natural selection is defined as ‘micro-evolution’. When the term was used in the past by other creationists is loosely meant bacteria can grow resistance to anti-biotics, but ‘macro-evolution’ that makes a man descent from apes, is judged impossible. Kent takes the same position as you can see on the slide. This was to be expected. Likewise the process of abiogenesis, or in Kent’s words ‘organic evolution’ is judged impossible. None of this is very surprising. What did get me off-guard, though it is of no enormous significance to me, was Kent’s third point on, what he calls ‘Stelar and Planetary Evolution’. No-one, he says, with all the equipment and all the people working on them, has ever seen planets form. Not a single person has witnessed the birth of a star, he says. “We have seen them blow up”, he emphasizes, “Scientists even claim that if four of them blow up close enough together that another can form”. “Four planets for one, some genius, those guys should go to congress and help’em borrow their way out of debt!”.
In case you were starting to wonder, we are going to play the game:
“Stupid, like Kent Hovind’.
Here is how you play it:
It’s important you state how important science is for you and then claim for yourself some authority on this level. Don’t forget to be vague! Then you have to make some short statement which, by shear out-of-the-box stupidity, immediately will seem to warp the reality of the reader and create a black-hole of ‘Eminemic’ proportions. “Oh no, ..he just didn’t say.. what I think he did,.. did he?!”
We shouldn’t be too surprised by Kent’s opinion though. The inerrant Bible clearly states that God made all that’s in the heavens and all that’s on the earth. Obviously the stars and planets did not come from Ikea. We’d still have the huge box with the swedish word for ‘meat-ball’ on the it. Kent is adamant, we have been staring into space for a significant time, say about three decades out of the millions and billions of years we know planets to be around, and not once did we see a planet grow from scratch. Until we will actually have lived a million years we have no way of determining whether the countless observed clusters of gas and debris in various stages of planetary accretion will not actually turn out to be cosmic Burger-King drive-in restaurants. We don’t know! No-one knows! In any case, as Kent already knows, there’s no documented natural process anyway by which planets can form without a designer except for uh.., you know, ..GRAVITY! And everyone who has watched NASA-tv already knows there is no gravity in space so “boehoe” for science!!
Even on earth gravity is tricky. Those Japanese magneto trains have no gravity! They float! There’s no gravity under water. How could planets with water on have formed if water blocks gravity?! So you see, science really doesn’t have an answer to explain their Stelar Evolution, which they did define as such themselves but exclusively through Kent’s slides. Luckily Kent has this inerrant book, coming to us directly from God via several unknown authors with each their own agenda and preferences and via multiple councils that redacted most of the stuff that didn’t come from God after all and this book, which as a result is completely free of the least bit of coherence and completely non-contradicting except in the parts where words were used tells us in no uncertain but vague terms that all was made by this one jealous designer, so you see WE’D better go with that!!
The contest goes like this. Send a statement that is ‘st-Jupiter than Kent Hovind’ to email@example.com and the first that gets me to ‘ROFLMAO’ will win the 2014 The Silent Atheist t-shirt. If enough withy remarks are mailed I will make a post of them announcing the winner(by alias or first name only). I think you will find it will take some very profound intelligence to come up with something that is more ignorant than what Kent said.
The Silent Atheist
P.S. Now I will go and watch the rest, expect me to be back sooner rather then later.